In memory of Sandra...

In the wake of the tragic news of the murder of 8-year-old Sandra Cantu on Tuesday, we provide the following tips on how to keep your children safe:

5 Steps to Protecting our Children:
Preventing, Recognizing, and Reacting Responsibly to Child Sexual Abuse -- A Guide for Responsible Adults

What is child sexual abuse?

Any sexual act between an adult and a minor or between two minors when one exerts power over the other. Forcing, coercing or persuading a child to engage in any type of sexual act. This, of course, includes sexual contact. It also includes non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism and communicating in a sexual manner by phone or Internet. An agonizing and traumatic experience for its victims. A crime punishable by law.

Step 1: Learn the Facts
Learn the facts and understand the risks. Realities - not trust - should influence your decisions regarding children.

"We live in a beautiful, safe neighborhood. None of these children could be victims of sexual abuse, right?"

It is highly likely that you know a child who has been or is being abused. Experts estimate that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthdays. This means that in any classroom or neighborhood full of children, there are children who are silently bearing the burden of sexual abuse. 1 in 5 children are sexually solicited while on the Internet.

Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under. The median age for reported sexual abuse is 9 years old. Approximately 20% of the victims of sexual abuse are under age eight. 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are under age twelve. Most child victims never report the abuse. Sexually abused children who keep it a secret or who "tell" and are not believed are at greater risk than the general population for psychological, emotional, social, and physical problems, often lasting into adulthood. It is also likely that you know an abuser. The greatest risk to children doesn't come from strangers but from friends and family.

30-40% of children are abused by family members. As many as 60% are abused by people the family trusts- abusers frequently try to form a trusting relationship with parents. Nearly 40% are abused by older or larger children. People who abuse children look and act just like every one else. In fact, they often go out of their way to appear trustworthy to gain access to children. Those who sexually abuse children are drawn to settings where they can gain easy access to children, such as sports leagues, faith centers, clubs, and schools.

“It can't happen in my family. I could tell if someone I know is an abuser.”

Yet in more than 90% of sexual abuse cases the child and the child's family know and trust the abuser. Consequences to children and to our society begin immediately. Child sexual abuse is a direct source of a number of problems facing us. Consequences to children and to our society begin immediately. Child sexual abuse is a direct source of a number of problems facing us.

70-80% of sexual abuse survivors report excessive drug and alcohol use. One study showed that among male survivors, 50% have suicidal thoughts and more than 20% attempt suicide. Young girls who are sexually abused are more likely to develop eating disorders as adolescents. More than 60% of teen first pregnancies are preceded by experiences of molestation, rape or attempted rape. The average age of the offenders is 27 years old.

Approximately 40% of sex offenders report sexual abuse as children. Both males and females who have been sexually abused are more likely to engage in prostitution. Approximately 70% of sexual offenders of children have between 1 and 9 victims; 20-25% have 10 to 40 victims. Serial child molesters may have as many as 400 victims in their lifetimes.

Step 2: Minimize Opportunity
If you eliminate or reduce one-adult/one-child situations, you'll dramatically lower the risk of sexual abuse for children.

"An organization in my community has programs for children, but puts no limits on one-adult/one-child situations. Should I be concerned?"

More than 80% of sexual abuse cases occur in one-adult/one-child situations.Reduce the risk. Protect children. Understand that abusers often become friendly with potential victims and their families, enjoying family activities, earning trust, and gaining time alone with children. Think carefully about the safety of any one-adult/one-child situations. Choose group situations when possible. Think carefully about the safety of situations in which older youth have access to younger children. Make sure that multiple adults are present who can supervise. Set an example by personally avoiding one-adult/one-child situations with children other than your own.

Monitor children's Internet use. Offenders use the Internet to lure children into physical contact.
Reduce the risk. Insist on policy. Create and lobby for policies reducing or eliminating one-adult/one-child situations in all youth-serving organizations, such as faith groups, sports teams, and school clubs. These policies should ensure that all activities can be interrupted and observed.
Talk with program administrators about the supervision of older youth who have responsibility for the care of children. Insist on screenings that include criminal background checks, personal interviews, and professional recommendations for all adults who serve children. Avoid programs that do not use ALL of these methods. Insist that youth-serving organizations train their staff and volunteers to prevent, recognize, and react responsibly to child sexual abuse. Ensure that youth-serving organizations have policies for dealing with suspicious situations and reports of abuse.

One-on-one time with a trusted adult is healthy and valuable for a child. It builds self-esteem and deepens relationships. There are things you can do to protect children when you want them to have time alone with another adult. Drop in unexpectedly when the child is alone with any adult, even trusted family members. Make sure outings are observable, if not by you, then by others. Ask the adult about the specifics of the planned activities before the child leaves your care. Notice the adult's ability to be specific.

Talk with the child when he or she returns. Notice the child's mood and whether the child can tell you with confidence how the time was spent. Find a way to tell the adults who care for children that you and the child are educated about child sexual abuse. Be that direct.

Step 3: Talk about it
Children often keep abuse a secret, but barriers can be broken down by talking openly about it.

“My daughter tells me everything. I know she would tell me if someone molested her.”

Understand why children are afraid to "tell." The abuser shames the child, points out that the child let it happen, or tells the child that his or her parents will be angry. The abuser is often manipulative and may try to confuse the child about what is right and wrong. The abuser sometimes threatens the child or a family member.

Some children who do not initially disclose abuse are ashamed to tell when it happens again. Children are afraid of disappointing their parents and disrupting the family. Some children are too young to understand.

Many abusers tell children the abuse is "okay" or a "game."

Know how children communicate. Children who disclose sexual abuse often tell a trusted adult other than a parent. For this reason, training for people who work with children is especially important. Children may tell "parts" of what happened or pretend it happened to someone else to gauge adult reaction. Children will often "shut down" and refuse to tell more if you respond emotionally or negatively.

Talk openly with your child. Good communication may decrease a child's vulnerability to sexual abuse and increase the likelihood that the child will tell you if abuse has occurred. Teach your children about their bodies, about what abuse is, and, when age-appropriate, about sex. Teach them words that help them discuss sex comfortably with you. Model caring for your own body, and teach children how to care for theirs.

Teach children that it is "against the rules" for adults to act in a sexual way with them and use examples. Teach them what parts of their bodies others should not touch. Be sure to mention that the abuser might be an adult friend, family member, or older youth.

Teach children not to give out their email addresses, home addresses, or phone numbers while using the Internet. Start early and talk often. Use everyday opportunities to talk about sexual abuse. Be proactive. If a child seems uncomfortable, or resistant to being with a particular adult, ask why.

One survey showed that fewer than 30% of parents ever discussed sexual abuse with their children. And even then, most failed to mention that the abuser might be an adult friend or family member. Talk to other adults about child sexual abuse.

Support and mutual learning occur when you share with another adult. You raise the consciousness of your community and influence their choices about child safety. You may be offering support and information to an adult whose child is experiencing abuse, and may not know what to do. You put potential abusers on notice that you are paying attention.

Step 4: Stay Alert
Don't expect obvious signs when a child is being sexually abused. Signs are often there but you've got to spot them.

"Is my son's withdrawal due to preteen angst or is he being sexually abused?"

Learn the signs. Physical signs of sexual abuse are not common, although redness, rashes or swelling in the genital area, urinary tract infections, or other such symptoms should be carefully investigated. Also, physical problems associated with anxiety, such as chronic stomach pain or headaches, may occur. Emotional or behavioral signals are more common. These can run from "too perfect" behavior, to withdrawal and depression, to unexplained anger and rebellion.

Sexual behavior and language that are not age-appropriate can be a red flag. Be aware that in some children there are no signs whatsoever. If you find physical signs that you suspect are sexual abuse, have the child physically examined immediately by a professional who specializes in child sexual abuse.

Step 5: Make a Plan

Learn where to go, whom to call, and how to react.

"My 11-year-old daughter said her step-father sneaks into her room at night. Then she said she made it up. Now she won't say anything. I don't know what to do."

Don't overreact. If a child breaks an arm or runs a high fever, you know to stay calm and where to seek help because you've mentally prepared yourself. Reacting to child sexual abuse is the same. Your reactions have a powerful influence on vulnerable children. When you react to disclosure with anger or disbelief, the response is often:

-- The child shuts down.

-- The child changes his or her story in the face of your anger and disbelief, when, in fact, abuse is actually occurring.

-- The child changes the account around your questions so future tellings appear to be "coached." This can be very harmful if the case goes to court.

-- The child feels even guiltier.

Very few reported incidents are false. Offer support. Think through your response before you suspect abuse. You'll be able to respond in a more supportive manner. Believe the child and make sure the child knows it. Thank the child for telling you and praise the child's courage.

Encourage the child to talk but don't ask leading questions about details. Asking about details can alter the child's memory of events. I f you must ask questions to keep the child talking, ask open-ended ones like "what happened next?"

Seek the help of a professional who is trained to interview the child about sexual abuse. Professional guidance could be critical to the child's healing and to any criminal prosecution. Assure the child that it's your responsibility to protect him or her and that you'll do all you can. Report or take action in all cases of suspected abuse, both inside and outside the immediate family.

Don't panic. Sexually abused children who receive support and psychological help can and do heal.

For more information, contact Irene T. Rose, Crime Prevention Officer, (209) 831-6581.

Have you seen 8-year-old Sandra Cantu?

Sandra Cantu, an 8-year-old girl from Tracy, has been missing since Friday night, March 27, 2009.

Sandra is 4 feet tall and weighs 45 pounds with brown hair and brown eyes. She was wearing a pink Hello Kitty T-shirt and black leggings. She was reported missing at 7:53 p.m. Friday, and a search was started 15 minutes later.

The Tracy Police Department has set up a mobile command post on West Clover Road as a helicopter searches the area. Sandra was supposed to be at a friend's house in the Orchard Estates mobile home park where she lives, but she wasn't found there. Police searched all night.

The FBI, California Highway Patrol, San Joaquin Sheriff's Office, Stanislaus County Sheriff's Office, Tracy Volunteers in Police Services, Tracy Community Emergency Response Team, Tracy Fire Department and National Center for Missing and Exploited Children are helping in the investigation.

Anyone with information that would be helpful in the investigation is asked to call the Tracy police at 831-4550 or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 1-800-843-5678.

Sandra is a Jacobson Elementary School second-grader. The search for her hasn't let up. "We're turning over everything we can," Sgt. Tony Sheneman said during a 5 p.m. press conference. "We'll keep going until we find out she's safe."

The eight-year-old is the daughter of Maria Chavez and Danny Cantu. Sgt. Sheneman said there are no indications that the girl has been harmed. Registered sexual offenders who live in the area have been interviewed, and surveillance cameras at the nearby hotels show nothing suspicious.

Danny Cantu, Sandra's father, is believed to be in Mexico, and Sheneman said he isn't considered a kidnapping suspect. "The mother said he hasn't been involved in the family for a long time," he said.

The Tracy CERT team will be coordinating volunteers to help in the search. We will be at the Fire Admin Bldg on Central Ave beginning at 8am on Sunday. These volunteers will be going door to door, handing out fliers. Again, anyone who has information that would be helpful in finding Sandra is asked to call the police department at 831-4550 or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 1-800-843-5678.

It's my right

Many times, a person's opinion about a particular subject can be shaped or changed when the issue hits close to home. In an effort to put a more personal spin on an upcoming California ballot initiative, you should know that support of Proposition 8 would directly hurt several people in your own community.

I'm one of those people, the neighbor who has worked hard and given my own time and money to help keep you and your families safe, to make our community a better and safer place to live.

Proposition 8 would take away my fundamental civil rights and would legitimize discrimination in the California constitution.

I believe that everyone in the Alden Park area should be treated with dignity and respect and that each of us should be afforded the same civil rights, regardless of age, gender, faith, race, or political belief. Don't you?

I also feel that because of this, it is my duty to urge you to vote NO on Prop. 8.

As the volunteer who created and maintains this website, it is my right to do so on this blog. Some of you may not agree. Deal with it.

In memoriam...

More than 30 residents of the Alden Park community came out at 8:00pm tonight to remember and honor the life of Steven Klent.

We were joined by Steve's father Jim, his mother Alice, and his sister Suzanne, and together we took the next steps in healing our hearts and our lives, following Steve's death on September 9, 2007.

Rest in peace, Steve. Your life made a difference.

__________________________________

To read the article in The Tracy Press on our event and the life and troubled times of Steven Klent, click here.

Later Sunday afternoon...

Officer Rose responds:

I received this e-mail and was unhappy you were not told what we can do. The dispatcher was right; it doesn't have any evidential value at this point, but we can put a "72 hour" notice on the vehicle, and if it isn't moved in that time period, it will be towed.

You are very right we are in this together, and I am here to help where ever I can. Please call me anytime you have a question.

Your Crime Prevention Officer,
Irene T. Rose

Drive-by shooting in our neighborhood?!

Has anyone else seen the black Acura Legend automobile, California license place 2PRM997, parked on Beechnut Avenue at the corner of Sequoia Boulevard?

I suppose you can't miss it, with the back window smashed out and the series of BULLET HOLES along the driver's side. The car was reported to the Tracy Police Department last night, with a promise from them to call back, but no call came. (Some of you would say, "As usual...") Another call to the police this morning confirmed that the car has apparently been sitting there FOR OVER A WEEK in its current condition, and it may have been shot up as it sat at the curb!

One would think that such a vehicle would be impounded as part of a crime scene investigation, but apparently, that's not happening. In fact, because the vehicle may still be operational, it's not considered "abandoned," and it can sit at the curb forever.

"It's up to the owner to get it repaired," noted the person who answered the Tracy Police non-emergency line (which is 831-4550, by the way). "If it's not an abandoned car, there's nothing we can do about it."

REALLY?!

So, a bullet-riddled eyesore on a street in YOUR neighborhood would be allowed to sit there, announcing the entrance to Gang Land? Haven't property values in our community dropped enough?

Now, be clear, I hope to God that no one was in the vehicle and seriously injured when some ________ decided to fire off several rounds at the car. I also understand that the registered owner of the vehicle lives here in our neighborhood, so they're one of our own.

But something has to be done about this. If anyone one knows who owns this car, let's get together and see if there's anything we can do to help. Does a family in our neighborhood need support or, at worst, our condolences? At the least, I'd be willing to pitch in and buy a car cover so we can make the car less conspicuous while the owner decides if he's going to get it repaired. Or I'll pay part of the towing charge if he's going to junk it.

We need to remember that we're all in this together. Please help do your part. And while you're at it, call the Tracy Police and the Mayor's office to tell them that "doing nothing" is not an option.

Nearly one year later...

On September 9, 2007, Steven Klent was found murdered in Alden Park.

Less than a week later, on September 13th, more than 150 residents came together to take back their park and their community, making the first steps to form our Neighborhood Watch.

In the nearly one year since, we've reached out to our neighbors, made new friends, and seen significant progress in reducing crime in our community. We have a lot to be proud of.

On Tuesday, September 9, 2008, however, we'd like to take a moment to pay tribute to event that started it all.

Please join us in Alden Park at 8:00pm that evening for a Candlelight Vigil in memory of Steven Klent.

Bring a candle, and help us light up the night.